Something happened today. It was monumental, HUGE. It was everything I’ve ever wanted in my fitness life. I couldn’t believe it happened.
I know as soon as I type the words, and soon as some of you read it you’ll be thinking to yourselves…..that’s it?! Really, but you don’t understand.
I ran two miles today. I ran two miles today, without stopping.
Now before you start clicking onto another site, let me tell you my journey and we’ll see how you think and feel then.
My whole life I have hated running. Hate may not be strong enough, every fiber of my being wanted to simultaneously scream and dissolve into salt whenever I heard words about running the mile or “fun” run, or jogging. I wanted to punch coaches in the face, and scream at them how I just couldn’t do it and bring myself to take one more step. Running made me feel weak, slow, and big. Not only did I have to compete with these short people and their super swift moves, the tall people always passed me too with their gazelle like legs, ug. It made me want to quit everything, go home and live under covers. I hated the days of hell week for volleyball when I would be forced to run a mile under 9 minutes. It was humiliating. It just reminded me again of how weak and slow I was.
You don’t believe me right? How could running ever be that bad? Well I really don’t know how or why. I was told years later that when I was in kindergarten we were required to run around a large grassy area with trees under a certain amount of time. Guess who didn’t make it? And the time we were having club volleyball tryouts and the coach asked us all to raise our hand if we hate running. I was the only one with a hand raised. Guess who didn’t make the team? The under 9 minute mile was a plague over me that Summer. My best friend at the time was one of the better runners on our team. I remember so perfectly when she was asking me if I finally did it this week. After answering no over and over for weeks, and the pure malice behind the question, I took a huge swig of gatorade in my mouth. I pointed my puffed cheeks with liquid at her. And I spit as hard and as far as I could. She didn’t ask me about it again. I wasn’t getting anywhere under 9 minutes. It wasn’t until the assistant coach ran with me, which forced me to do something I never could before. I was never so happy as to hear 8:45 in my life. I was safe from another week.
Believe it or not, I would not run another mile without stopping again until our trip last year to Nashville. That was the craziest feeling, but didn’t stick with it. I think I got too scared of the future, after all how can I continue to conquer me fear if it isn’t in my way anymore? I didn’t run again until a while later when we did The Warrior Dash. That race is fun, but the running was the least of our worries. I’ve always wanted to get back to running running, where I’m actually making progress. Well I guess you could say I made myself do it because I signed myself and the Hulkster up for the Turkey Trot.
At the time, there were 18 weeks to go. 18 loooooong weeks before the race. At first I told myself that I have plenty of time. I don’t need to be so focused on training because I’ve got a while. Well then I got sick, and I got a whole lot of lazy, and then some weeks I forgot or skipped a week. And here I was with 5 weeks to go, realizing the error of my ways. All I could do was just start running again. And so I did. This time with my friend from work. She got me through the longest interval last week- 8 minutes, and corrected my posture. WHAT A DIFFERENCE! So that brings us here today. My moment to shine. I had looked up on my Coach to 5k app to see what the running was today and it said walk 5 minutes, run 20 minutes or 2 miles, I was really nervous. But with the help and encouragement I got from friends and the Hubster- I did it.
Not only did I do it, I hit 20 minutes but wasn’t to 2 miles yet. So I kept going! It’s like a dream I never knew existed.
Now that I’m back down to Earth a little, I feel very proud of myself. Like really proud. I’m usually not proud of myself, so I give myself this one.