Where’d you go? I miss you so. Seems like it’s been forever, that you’ve been gone.
Well hey there. It’s me She-Hulk. Where have I been? The only answer I can give is: living. Getting through another month, week, day, hour, minute. I’ve been trying to live presently, not successfully I might add but my attempt has brought me a great deal of personal time and thought.
Don’t think I didn’t miss blogging, I really did. There’s just things in life that happen that you can’t fix, no matter how much you care about it or wish things to be different. I’ve come to some realizations over the past few months and here’s what I’ve come up with.
1. I’m an extrovert living in a very introverted world. My husband and friends are all introverts. All of them. If one happens to tip slightly towards extroversion on the scale, it doesn’t compare to me. I love people, I love going and doing things with people, I just want to hang out all the time with people and not apologize for it ok?! But alas that isn’t an option. I must remain inside myself, feeling like hot air will escape if I don’t shut all possible body openings. I must stay quiet when all I want to do is make funny noises and giggle. I must be different from who I am in order to keep peace and not annoy the crap out of everyone, and it just plain sucks. Once I realized this I had a heck of a time trying to fight back and change it, but my husband and friends are important to me. I don’t own the world and I certainly don’t own them so I’m reluctantly working on it.
2. Sometimes I eat crap for dinner. No, not literal crap.
This Baby. It’s a grilled cheeseburger. Epic.
3. But you know what? Life goes on. You just get up and run the next day.
4. There are days when I don’t want to get out of bed, but I do it anyway. Then there are the days I don’t want to get out of bed, and I don’t. These are the days I have to remember that although I’m sad, although my world isn’t always the way I want it to be, although every TS song makes so much sense it’s like we share a brain! I still have so much. I have my faith, my family, and my friends. Of those friends: the best I’ve ever had.
5. And you what? Life goes on.
(Please excuse the Hulkster’s crazy eyes, he just starting wearing contacts again.)
In Loving Memory of Carol Talsma
March 7, 1933- September 25, 2012