Back home in California, I had a job I didn’t like. Now that happens and I’m sure some of you can relate to my “woe is me” story. It wasn’t that I didn’t like the actual work of it per say, but it was difficult to be me. On any given day this is me:
Occasionally I will meet and become BFFs with a celebrity
JK. But that really is T.S.
That’s who I am. I’m loving, I’m fun, and I like to have a good time. My only problem with my job was that I couldn’t be any of those things! I couldn’t say “Good morning!” with a smile unless it was met with a grumbled, “Ya.” I couldn’t talk about how much I value my marriage because they would claim marriage is only for tax purposes, and I couldn’t listen to anything I wanted on the radio unless I was by myself in storage and unless I wanted to get written up for “forcing my beliefs” on others. I got asked more than once if I was pregnant, which I was not, and I was always violating dress code by wearing “shorts.” I would look over at my coworkers and I’m not kidding, they were wearing the same CAPRI pants but did not get in trouble. It was suffocating! BTW (By The Way, it was a Christian station I liked to listen to but just music no sermons, and there happened to be another coworker that wanted it but she was too afraid to stand up to the higher ups. And besides, I would never mean to offend anyone which is why I only put it on because I liked it in the first place.)
Never mind the 40 minute commute, never mind the exactly 30 minute lunches, never mined that I had to be there at 6:30 A M everyday. I could excuse all that if it was just a little less hostile to work there. Believe me, I wanted to quit. But it was right when the economy took a nose dive and it took me 5 months just to find that job that I hated. I would cry myself to sleep thinking about getting up the next morning, and the morning when I woke up I would cry all over again. I gained weight, I started having panic attacks, hives, insomnia, I was chronically sick. I was pathetic! The only solace I found at work, was by myself in the storage area with my little radio that only worked when plugged in just perfectly and the antenna put to the left just slightly.
I could sing as loud and I wanted, laugh when I wanted, I could be me. It was wonderful in those times by myself. I was so thankful when I was told I could start doing deliveries every once in a while, OH WAS I HAPPY. Being out by myself in the car, listening to what I wanted, shades on, sun out, windows down. I was me.
Everyday when I drove home I had anxiety about the next day. If I couldn’t do deliveries, I have to be stuck in that office! It was so severe I couldn’t drive the freeway overpasses to go home. I would take a longer easier route so I wouldn’t have to feel the sweat down my forehead, clammy hands, and heart racing.
And then that song would come on. Do you know it?
Sorry, reeeeeally twanging, but seriously, it’s what kept me going. I would blast it so loud I’m sure other people heard but it would get me over those roads so I could be home.
It’s the smallest things for me that make all the difference. A ,”Hey, great job,” or, “this is delicious,” and a favorite, “good morning beautiful.” Sometimes we just need a silly country song to remind us there is more hope than we realize!
Did you see this guy? Un-be-live-able!
There is always hope, I know. I live 2500 miles away from that job and everyone associated with it! Now are you seeing why I didn’t object too much to moving to Michigan? 🙂
Did you ever have a job you hated, or a hostile work environment? Do you have something strange that gets you through to the next day? Ever met a celebrity?